Sudden attack of wanderlust
I’m supposed to be writing my doctoral thesis (hence very few posts lately), but for some reason I can’t stop thinking about where I’m going to live after I defend. I will be done with my education and so for the first time in my life have some kind of decision about where to live to make. I will be moving back in with my boyfriend, who already graduated and left, at first, but neither of us want to stay where he has a job now. But then what? I have few anxieties about spending the rest of my life with one person, but spending it in one place is giving me seriously cold feet. He wants to buy a house.
I’ve seen what property does to you – it binds you to a place. I don’t want to be tied down! What if I change my mind? What if he changes his mind? What if our children are miserable there? What if the ideal place for us to live is somewhere on another continent and we don’t know that because we haven’t been there yet, and we’re about to make a huge mistake? Images and feelings from my failed repatriation flash in front of my eyes. Just like some people want to be with several people at the same time because they can’t choose, I want to live in a few places at once just to hedge my bets. Ideally, I’d like to have a few different kinds of streets leading up to my house, one from China, one with a European city, and I’d like to work at an American company. All of a sudden I want to make getting a job with a lot of travel my #1 priority. Can I really commit to a single place in a single country for the rest of my life?
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